Sunday, March 8, 2009

Yes... I am a Male Chauvinist Pig

MCP is a term oft used by the feminist to ridicule men who think that men are superior to women and feminist is a term by MCP's to ridicule back. Nevertheless, the point is not to explain what an MCP and neither to make a confession that I am one, but just an attempt to mention the reasons why an MCP is the way he is.

As a child, I used to play a lot with girls in my community and was quite good at playing the games of skipping, kit-kit (a game like ludo, played on the roads by moving a piece of stone from one box to another walking on one foot) and other such feminine games. As my sister is the only daughter of our parents I also acted as a pseudo sister for her and listen to her stories of dolls and fairies. As I grew up, my interaction with girls diversified. I must have been in class 6 when I first fell in love with a christian girl who is presently married. Then those obvious crushes on young school teachers and on and off crushes on some or the other girl of school. These times lasted till I was in school. IIT, though showed a very different picture. In a batch of 440 students, there were about 40 girls. with an average of 10 boys hitting on a girl, the probability of me getting a girl was very poor and so was it. The four years of my life were spent in intimate companionship of boys and more boys, so much so that girls became a fantasy for us. Even Sex ratios of 963/1000 for the country seemed quite optimistic to us as were living in a 100/1000 kind of scenario.

Post IIT, I have been having a lot of interactions with girls, primarily because I deal in the sales of premium cosmetics and observe consumers making purchases daily and secondly that I have been into a relationship for about three years now. The interaction with the female community after such a long time was nothing less than fantabuolous. It was colourful, lively and altogether beautiful. The fantasies that we had about girls in our IIT days were coming true. We thought girls are those beautiful creatures god has made with whom if you go for a coffee, you feel proud. Who, if sits at the pillion seat of your bike, the entire men community shall look at you with awe and admiration, someone who must be sending sweet sms's of miss you and love you types and who would be a great company to be with. Most of it was true in the beginning and I was so delighted I was now exposed to the part of the society which is almost half of the society I belong to.

But rosy beds were soon to become thorny. While fantasising about girls at college, all we would think about was their beautiful voice, their smiles, their sweet voice etc etc... but one basic fact never occurred to us. Girls also have a brain or so to say a mind. Mind is a vague term and I still feel it lies somewhere between mind and heart. We fantasized the smiles of the girls but could never imagine what would it take to bring that smile on the face. We thought about the beautiful faces but never knew that when they wake up early in the morning, they look as horrific as us and it takes them hours of denting-painting to present themselves to the outside world. While we wanted to hear their sweet voices, we never tried to think what those voices would say. Recently many of my IITian friends or to generalize my engineering friends (from other engg colleges also who enjoy the same sex ratio as IIT's) have started falling in love. While initially they felt that falling was much like a bungee jumping, only later did they realize that there was no rope tied to their legs that would bring them back. It was a free fall at an accelerating 9.8 m/sec sq.

First their girlfriends (including mine) loved everything in their boyfriends, their bikes, their untidy t-shirts, their unshaven looks and their geeky minds. The boys however made their fullest efforts to behave gentlemen and would take shower daily, use a deodorant, wear clothes suggested by their girlfriends in order to look suitable to be dating her. The efforts were intially appreciated and gradually became norms and a little later laws. Going out without a shower was prohibited, and eating onions in lunch was barred if you wished to kiss later.

To bring a smile to the lady's face, the boys would spend half their salary on teddy bears, chocolates, flowers, cards and at times diamonds and gold. They would remember the brithday, the valentine day and all the other 363 days of the year. Only in the next year did they realize that birthdays come every year and must be made more special (read "expensive") than the previous one. The girls would gradually share their wishlist of a big house, or a dream car, a or an expensive jewelry and the boy showing his full chivalry would commit to get anything she ever wished. At times, he would not refrain from saying , " I can get the moon for you". But the girls are smart, they know that moon is impossible so they never ask for the moon, but they ask for everything else available under the moon. Soon, the girl's wish list becomes the boys' To-do list.

The boy initially pays a lot of attention to his girl's career as being the modern man, he is not supposed to demand a housewife but help his spouse in her career. So he does. Later, he quits his own job to suit a transfer of his wife and within years, realizes that in an attempt to be with her wife his career hasn't moved an inch while his wife's has moved yards. If he complains, he is chauvinist, if he doesn't, he is a loser. If the man wishes that his wife should not drink or smoke, the only way he can demand that is by giving up himself. As many men find it difficult to give up, they succumb to the fact that their wifes can drink and the only request is to avoid whiskeys and restrict to vodka.

I know I am sounding chauvinist, but then, I can't help. I am still in favour for Women's education and against domestic violence. But then, I am not in favour of the already educated and fully affluent women blaming their submitting spouses of being chauvinist if he asks her to toouch his feet, but find it sweet when he gives her a head- massage.

My message to all the single out there is "Dude !!! the thing that you are looking for is available only for ten minutes a day, but the price that you pa for it, takes away all the pleasures from it. Keep fantasising, it is more fun than reality"