When Bhabha turned in his grave

At the academy in Mussoorie, a debate has been conducted every year for last 30 odd years in the memory of Homi J Bhabha, the pioneer scientist of India. And as happens with most such memorial debates, it has a running trophy which gets transferred to the winner of each year. The 2012 Homi Bhabha Debate was on "Climate Changed India of 2030's: Heading for Disaster"

I had not taken part in any debate since 2003 or 2004 and felt that I'll never again get to do this school-college type of thing after the real job begins. In the spur of the moment, I gave my name for the debate. On the suggestion of a friend who said that there is a lot of material on the internet denying the existence of climate change, I decided to go against the topic.

But the lazy man that I am, I somehow didn't feel like doing extensive research on the topic and mostly forgot about it till friday. (the debate was to be on monday). Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the days when we get drunk.After getting heavily drunk on Saturday, it occurred to me that I had to write something for the debate. In the most drunken state, I started scribbling something in Hindi. I wrote about 2-3 pages and then dozed off. With a hangover, I woke up on sunday and struggled to read my own handwriting. I then realized I had almost no content or arguement, but the liquor had had a huge impact on the tone of my scribble. Friends suggested that I keep the tone and try including some content. The very friends were also kind enough to google and give me some 2-3 points. I had, by then, thought of a lot of rhetorics. Before the drinks on Sunday, a script was ready. After getting drunk on Sunday, I read out the script to my other drunk friends. They agreed that it had almost no content, but said that if I deliver this with the same vigour that I have when I am drunk, this would be quite an entertainment for the audience.

I had last minute self-doubts. This was, after all, a serious debate, where people would qoute from international conventions and speek in highly bureaucratic English. Would I not be blamed of trivializing and mimicking the entire programme. Somehow my friends were sure that this would be fun. I decided to take the chance. Entertaining the audience became a bigger aim than winning the debate. Here is the script which I delivered....

सन् 1999. मेरी उम्र तकरीबन 16 साल की रही होगी, जब किसी ने ये अफवाह उड़ाई कि दुनिया खतम होने वाली है। मैने न जाने किस-किस भगवान से मन्नत माँगी कि दसवीं की परीक्षा से पहले दुनिया खतम हो जाए। पर भगवान ने मेरी नहीं सुनी। पिछ्ले साल भी एक बार फिर हवा उड़ी कि 2012 में दुनिया खतम हो जाएगी। मैने फिर मन्नतें माँगी कि सिविल सेवा की परीक्षा से पहले ही दुनिया खतम हो जाए। भगवान ने फिर से मेरी नहीं सुनी। 2012 अब भी जारी है, लेकिन ये कमबख्त दुनिया है कि खतम होने का नाम ही नहीं लेती।

अभी मेरे कई काबिल दोस्तों ने Google और Wikipedia से ऐसे-ऐसे तथ्य निकाल कर आपके सामने परोसे कि उन्हें सुनकर आपकी रूह काँप उठी होगी और आप घबरा गए होंगे कि 2030 तक दुनिया का महाविनाश हो जाएगा। काश कि ये सब सच होता और हम इस जालिम दुनिया से निजात पा सकते। पर अफसोस कि ये खामखयाली उतनी ही सच है जितना ये कि माँ के दूध से बच्चे को cancer हो सकता है।

पिछ्ले 20 सालों में, खासकर 1992 के Rio De Jenerio के Earth Summit  के बाद से Climate Change या जलवायु परिवर्तन समाज के बेरोज़गार रईसों के Drawing Room Discussions का एक अहम मुद्दा बन गया है। वैसे ही जैसे कई साल पहले समाजवाद या पूँजीवाद की बहस इनका timepass हुआ  करती थी।

कई महानुभावों का कहना है कि 2030 तक  हमने अपने मौसम को इस कदर बादल डाला होगा कि जीना मुहाल हो जाएगा। मैं इंसान की इस छाती पीटने की आदत का कायल हो गया हूँ। न सिर्फ हम इस बात का दम भरते हैं कि हमने 200 सालों में पृथ्वी की जलवायु बिगाड़ दी है बल्कि इस वायदे  पर भी इतराते हैं कि हम चाहें तो इस जलवायु परिवर्तन को रोक सकते हैं।

IPCC, UNEP एवं कई ऐसी संस्थाओं की मदद से विकसित देशों ने लगभग हमें मना  लिया है कि carbon  dioxide, methane, chloroflourocarbon इत्यादि जैसे गैसों की वजह  से हमारी धरती काफी गर्म हो चुकी है और महाविनाश निकट है। मैं इस बात से इन्कार नहीं करता कि पिछ्ले 200 सालों में मौसम में कोई permanent  बदलाव नहीं हुआ  है। मैं ये भी जानता हूँ कि Greenhouse गैसों का पृथ्वी के तापमान पर क्या असर हुआ  है। पर ये कहना कि ये सब महाविनाश कि निशानी है, ये किसी नौसिखिये कवि की कोरी कल्पना से ज्यादा गम्भीर नहीं लगता।

हम भारतीयों को तब टक किसी बात पर भरोसा नहीं होता जब तक  अमेरिका, ऑस्ट्रेलिया या जेनेवा जैसी जगह से किसी Dr . Robert  या Dr . Carter हमें कुछ Research करके न दिखायें। आपकी इस उत्सुकता को मिटाने के लिए मैं  ऑस्ट्रेलिया के Dr . Robert Carter  के रिसर्च से कुछ बताना चाहूँगा। उनके अनुसार जलवायु हमेशा से बदलता रहा है और बदलता रहेगा। साथ ही CO2 का असर Greenhouse  Effect में सिर्फ 5 से 6% है और 70% असर Water Vapour  यानि  पानी  के भाप का है।

अमेरिका के Jarret Wollstein  बताते हैं कि सन् 1000 एवं 1500 ई. के दौरान पृथ्वी वर्तमान से भी ज्यादा गर्म थी। साथ  ही 1450 ई. से 1850 ई. के बीच भी तापमान गिर गया था और 1940 से 1970 के बीच भी तापमान घटा था। मतलब ये कि इस गर्मी - सर्दी के दौर से इन्सानी हरकतों का तो कोई लेना-देना  ही नहीं है !! NASA की एक report के अनुसार सूर्य में पिछ्ले 100 सालों के Solar Flares सबसे ज्यादा गर्म रहे हैं। मंगल ग्रह पर भी बरफ पिघलती पाई गई है। इससे पहले कि इन्सान मंगल या सूर्य पर पहुँच पाता। Climate Change ने पहले ही जलवे दिखा दिए। Wollstein कि इस रिसर्च ने कितने इन्सानों का दिल तोड़ दिया होगा। इन्सानी ताकत की  ऐसी तौहीन? अफसोस!!

फिर भी मैं मानता हूँ  कि इन्सानों एवं उनकी सरकारों को Climate  Change के नाम पर कुछ न कुछ हाथ - पैर मारते रहना चाहिए। क्या है कि इससे मानव-जाति का आत्म-विश्वास बना रहता है।

भारत जैसे विकास-शील देश में भी National Action Plan for Climate Change के आठ मिशनों की यही कोशिश है। लेकिन इसका ये मतलब कतई नहीं है कि ये मिशन भारत के औद्योगिक विकास को धीमा कर दें।

सिर्फ इसलिए कि विदेशी पर्यटकों को घूमने को हरे-भरे जंगल मिलते रहें, हम उन जंगलों में रहने वाले भारतीयों को सड़क और बिजली से वन्चित नहीं कर सकते। देश केवल पहाड़ों, जंगलों और नदियों से नहीं बनता। वो बनता है उसके लोगों से। क्या झारखण्ड के एक बच्चे को सिर्फ इसलिए Thermal Power की बिजली नहीं मिलनी चाहिए क्योंकि उसके हिस्से का प्रदूषण कोइ अमेरिकी पहले ही फैला चुका है?

क्या Kyoto Protocol और Clean Development Mechanism  भारत जैसे देशों कि जिम्मेदारी हैं जहाँ 24 घंटों  कि बिजली आज भी एक Luxury है? यूरोप और अमेरिका ने जब चाहा, कोयलों से बिजली निकाली, फिर युरेनियम से और फिर Nuclear Bomb भी बनाया। लेकिन हम पवन-चक्कियों से गाँव को रोशन करें और युरेनियम भी उनसे पूछ  कर इस्तेमाल करें?

डराने वाले यूँ हि डराते  रहेंगे। 2030 में जब शायद मेरी औलाद दसवीं की परीक्षा दे रही होगी तो वे भी भगवान से मन्नत मांगेगी कि दुनिया उसकी परीक्षा से पहले ही खतम हो जाए। लेकिन भगवान ने न उसके बाप कि सुनी थि और न उसकी सुनेगा।

It was clear that the audience enjoyed the delivery of the speech. However, some of them also frowned on what they thought was blasphemic both for the academy as well as for Homi Bhabha. Much to the dissappointment of such people and much more to the sheer pleasure and surprise to us, I was awarded the first prize, thus becoming the Homi J Bhabha Orator of the Year 2012.


All I wanna say is, I am sorry Bhabha :)

Jai Ho Dodi Taal Ki

खच्चर घोड़ा पालकी
जय हो डोडी ताल की
धरवाधार के लाल की
जय बाबा भोकाल की

                                              Maggie के जब दाँव चले 

                                              और पर्वत पर पाँव चले 

                                              तन के गम को Rum ने साधा 

                                              बोतल ने किया दर्द आधा 

                                              फिर बात छिड़ी बवाल की 

                                              और शंकर जी भोकाल की 

                                              खच्चर घोड़ा पालकी 

                                              जय हो डोडी ताल की 

Pizza जब सर्गुन से छूटा
संगम चट्टी पर पुल टूटा
तब मुर्गों ने हि साथ दिया
कोरे खाने को स्वाद दिया

फिर चर्चा GD के चाल की
और झा One के धुएँ के  जाल की
खच्चर घोड़ा पालकी
जय हो डोडी ताल की

                                            सम्राट का टूटा मायाजाल
                                            साम्राज्ञी क जब पूछा हाल
                                            महिलाओं के तब दिल कुचले
                                            यमुना जी तब कूदे उछले

                                            फिर महक उठी कुछ 'माल' की
                                            और गप्पें ठाकुर के चाल की
                                            खच्चर घोड़ा पालकी
                                            जय हो डोडी ताल की

उन्नी के गाने जब फूटे
यशु के Scales कहीं छूटे
यमुना जी फिर जम के नाचे
और K K ने दोहे बाँचे

तब सभा लगी भोकाल की
और जयकार हुई घरपाल की
खच्चर घोड़ा पालकी
जय हो डोडी ताल की

Papa....Mere BAAP ho aap...

It was 30th of July. Exactly 60 days that Papa had a stroke. He has recovered a lot since then. He has started walking with a stick in his left hand (his right hand still doesn't do much) though he cannot speak well. In fact, it is his inability to speak that has created trouble for me and mom in looking after him. Mom so much expects him to lie on the bed like a patient and just be fed when required, take medicines, attend the physiotherapy and speech therapy sessions and keep lying on the bed at other times. But Papa is papa after all. He cannot speak, right, but he can think and that too a at a razor sharp speed. 

It has been only two weeks that we came to Bokaro from Delhi and Papa remembers all the stuff at home, right to the exact longitude and lattitude of that stuff. And he doesn't keep the information to himself. He would call us close and then start indicating at some corner of house where some important (or mostly unimpportant) stuff is lying. That day, he suddenly started tried saying something. Mom was in the kitchen. I was caught alone. Talking to Papa is like playing dumb charades. There is no word, only random sound with emotional modulations and we are to keep guessing. Sometimes he'll say "haan" and we'll pump the air and or else he'll say "Nahiiii" and we'll keep trying. More often than not, our failed attempts result in him crying and then we try various means to calm him down.

So I started guessing. 'Is it Diary?' 

"Nahiii". 

'Ok. Is it something you want me to bring?'

"Nahiii". 

'So do you want me to call someone? 

"Haan". 

'Ok. whom should I call.'

Then he started saying something which didn't make any sense. He then pointed out to the other room. I brought every little thing that could have a phone number written on it. But he didn't find the name he was looking for. Frustrated, he decided to search himself.

I got another chance to walk him. He stood up, held his stick and started walking to another room (which used to be his bedroom before the stroke). He found his shirts hanging by a hanger. He left the stick, stood without any support and started searching all pockets of his half a dozen shirts hung there. He finally got few bills. He took them, walked to the bed and sat down. He then segregated a bill of a jeweler and said. "Haan"

I saw the bill. I remembered that this was some shopping we had done almost ten days before papa's stroke. I asked him if the payment was due.

"Nahii"

I then checked that the bill had 'paid' written over it. I guessed that is it the bangles that we had given him for polishing that he hasn't returned.

"Nahiii"

My mom then popped in and told that those bangles were brought back by papa the next day itself. Then what was it. Papa pointed towards the mobile. 'Oh, so you want me to call the jeweller?"

"Haan" (with a big smile) We had finally won the first round of the dumb charades.

I found a landline number on the bill. Called it. 'Number does not exist'. Papa starts fuming. I promise him I'll go to the jeweller and get his mobile number. But then what was I supposed to talk to him, that was still not understood.

Papa went into crying and it took us a couple of hours to calm him down. We got all the jewelry of the house in front of him to assure that all was in place. He got more irritated. I then said that i am going to the jeweler right now. He stopped crying and almost said "Jaao"

I went out of the house. It was too hot and sunny outside. I roamed on the road for five minutes and came back saying to him the shop was closed. He found my cheating. He got very angry. Somehow we passed the day.

In the evening, he gathered himself back, called me towards him with utmost love on his face and started saying something. I guessed, 'Jeweler?' and bingo, he was still on this. I finally decided I'll listen to him. I went out to the jeweler's shop which was at about fifteen minutes walk. The jeweler was shocked to know of papa's illness and said he would come down to the house the very next day. I also took his mobile number and came back. I told papa that I have asked the jeweler to come home and you can ask him directly whatever you require. He thought I was still cheating. I had to call the jeweler and get him to speak to papa, only then did he believe me.

Next day, we had to go to the hospital. The jeweler came to our house, found it locked and went back. However, during the afternoon, mom started her usual gupshup and told me how Papa had said that if I clear IAS this time, he would offer a gold flute to Lord Krishna on Janmashtami. Last year, my mom had promised a silver flute if I clear UPSC. I had got IRS and the silver flute promise was fulfilled. Papa, being himself, thought that had mom promised a gold flute, I would have got IAS. He promised Krishna that if I get IAS, he would present him a gold flute. 

Mom was saying that now that Papa is not well, we'll wait for him to get well. Suddenly papa jumped up from bed and started saying something. Two months of dumb charades had made us good by now. We immediately realized that this is what he was telling us the previous day. To call the jeweler and ask him to make the flute. I immediately called the jeweler. He came to see us in ten minutes and told him that he had come yesterday.

When we told him about the flute, he said that Papa had already told him about the plan and he would get it made soon. Papa smiled and saw me and mom with a smirk on his face, as if saying, "You fools, you two thought that I am sick. Look, I am still on my plans."

Mom couldn't stop smiling and I had tears in my eyes. Papa, I know you'll speak one day and will run the house on your own. You are not someone who gets dependent on near ones. Had you not offered Lord Krishna the golden flute, he wouldn't have made me an IAS. We'll fulfill your promise and with Krishna's grace, you'll walk up to the temple yourself to make the offering. 

I could not imagine that even in this condition, he is so excited about my IAS and he is so concerned. And I was thinking I am taking care of him. I was wrong. I am still a kid. Baap to aap ho mere. :)

Child...Father of the Man

I can say it without exaggeration that whatever I have achieved in life is because of my parents. More so because of my father. He is not a wealthy man but I always had more cash in my pocket than I needed. He is neither very well educated (He did his matriculation and then trained at ITI as a Fitter), yet I was always showered with intelligent guidance and education tips. 

He's however, a typical father. You know, when you are a kid and go around places in a train and see things, you tend to ask your father, "Papa, what's that?" and every time he knows the answer. This is surprising. He told me what a railway bridge is, what a fertilizer plant is, why trees go back when we see them from the train and many more such answers. Also, he wrote most of my speeches and debates in school. (He did that in Hindi and then I translated to English) I owe so much to him that I can never repay. When last year, I was quite sad that my rank in Civil Services was only 292, he had made sure that I get enough media presence so that I feel happy about my result. This year, when I got rank 36, he was the happiest man on earth, never tired of looking his own photos in the news papers.

But that morning, everything changed. While sitting on a chair and cutting his nails, he suddenly got still. It was 30th May 2012 at around 9:30 am that we noticed that he wasn't moving. He seemed like looking into the void. We immediately called the doctor who said he had a stroke. We rushed to the nearby neuro hospital. It was found that he had a blood clot in his Left MCA (Middle Cerebral Artery) because of which he couldn't move his right limbs and could not speak. An injection was immediately given to dissolve the clot, but by then some damage was already done.

We were told that now nothing more can be done; we just have to wait for the first 6-7 days to pass and pray that no deterioration in his condition happens. Me and mom spent the next six days sleeping on the floor in the waiting hall meeting dad only for one hour each at 7 am and 7 pm, hoping every day that he gets better. On the third day, the doctors told us that the condition was stable and we should hope that it should further stabilize. The next day when mom and I went to see him, ICU staff had shaved him and he was smiling. That day both me and mom were happy for the day. Papa smiled. It seemed like our world will be restored to normal. At the end of seven days, he was shifted from the ICU to private room. Now we realized what all was lost in the process. Due to an infarct in his left MCA, he had temporarily lost his speech (Aphasia) and could not move his right limbs (Hemiplegia). It took him another couple of days when he could swallow from his mouth and was no longer being fed from nose. This seemed like another huge milestone. He then started taking medicines from mouth and injections were stopped. After spending two weeks in hospital, we were asked to take him home and do further recovery there.

He is still unable to speak or to move his right limbs, but we are trying. I spend my entire day sitting by his side. I am there when his shit is being cleaned, I am there when he is being bathed, I am there to feed him, I am there to give him medicines, I am there to help him sit up. It feels I have a child. When for the first time, he indicated that he felt like shitting, I got happy because he could sense this and it was no longer involuntary. I am now thinking of getting the urine tube removed hoping that he will not wet his pants but sense before he pees. He has now started taking full glasses of food with his left hand, while sitting without back support. We no longer spoon feed him while he's lying on the bed. He can now drag himself front and back and sideways using his left limbs. He also shifts himself from the bed to the wheel chair without much help. I had always known him to be a man of strong will and determination, and he is proving true to it, again.

I get pleasure from every small achievement. Now if I scratch his palm, he pulls away his right hand; he can bend his elbow. Though he still can't straighten it back. He is yet to move his fingers. When we scratch his foot, he bends his right knee. Today, he even tried straightening his bent leg. Since yesterday, we have started getting him to walk a few steps. I'll get him braces made for his right knee, so that he can stand without our support. He already tries to swing his right foot ahead while walking. I know he'll do everything one day. One day he will again walk on his foot and write with his hands.

He doesn't cry as much as he did in the first two weeks. Probably the anti-depressant is working or he is gaining confidence. In fact, now he smiles and waves to people who come to meet him. He even said "Hello" on phone when Gudia called, though the 'L' sound didn't come so well. He still can't speak words. But he tries to move his tongue. Yesterday, he moved his tongue left and right and am sure he'll soon lift his tongue up as well. He cannot blow air from his mouth but he has started sucking stuff in. His diaphragm is gradually gaining control. We can sense that he can't read, neither can he write with his left hand. Doctors say that these things will come slowly when he starts speaking.

Every day, I see some progress. It is about a month that he had that stroke. This is the 5th week to be precise. Like a new born child he's gaining his senses slowly and daily. He doesn't shit his pants now, am sure he'll no longer wet the bed too. He can gulp a glass of milk or lassi or mashed rice with milk. Am sure he will chew a Roti very soon. He can stand on one leg with our support; am sure I will see him walking on his own very soon. He makes random sounds from his mouth; am sure he'll speak fluently one day.

He must have seen me growing everyday 29 years ago. He was always confident that one day I will go to bathroom on my own and one day I'll learn to read and write and one day I'll speak full sentences with fluency and that one day I'll no longer be dependent on him. Today I am equally confident that I'll see him do all this one day. If he can make a lump of flesh and bones walk, talk, read, and live in this world, why can't I?

I know I am his child and he is my father, but child is the father of the man. May be now, like a father, I'll make him walk and talk in the same way that he made me do so years ago. Papa, I know you'll do it and I'll be by your side every day to see you growing. All the best to you. May God get you back to your normal self very soon.

Congratulations or All the Best?

This is not the first time I have received Congratulations, and as always it feels good. However, a scary thought runs through my mind this time. This might be the last Congratulations I received. I have mostly been congratulating for some or the other academic achievement. I stood 1st in my school in Class 10th. Congratulations. Got selected in JEE 2002 with 811 rank. Congratulations. Got a job in Hindustan Unilever. Congratulations. Cleared Civil Services and got into IRS. Congratulations. Now got selected again with a rank of 36. Congratulations. But, now what.

There are no other exams that I'll write now and no other ranks that I would get. That means a sad end of the student life that was full of exams, results, failures, successes, ranks and congratulations. But, now that I shall be turning thirty, life shall not be the same. I am hoping that I shall be joining the IAS by August and after some months of training, will be posted to some place to look after the administration of a block or a subdivision in some district. There would be riots, road blocks, dharnas, unemployment issues, schools not running properly, power cuts, human trafficking, caste violence and god knows what else. And I shall be expected to resolve these issues. Gosh!! This is scary. Damn too scary. What if I am unable to deliver? What if I don't have a solution to these problems? How would I answer those who would hold me accountable for anything?

Will those people go and "like" some stupid Facebook status of mine or comment on my random blogs? Will they congratulate me that sometime my pictures came in some newspapers for clearing an exam? No.Not at all. They would tear me into pieces. I have got a job to do and I should better know how to do it well. 

In that case, how does it matter whether I am rank 36 or 66 or just 6 or even 1. If I am a sloppy officer then I am no good. These ranks and these newspaper clippings and TV interviews will be forgotten in few days. So I don't need congratulations this time. I need "All the Best" and "Good Luck". And most of all I need a pretty good training. I am counting on the Training Academies involved that they must have devised ways to train us for such diverse challenges.

If there is one Congratulation that I aspire for, is that 30 years later when I turn 60, someone comes up to me, reminds me of my 30 years of service and says, "Good Job Done". 

Fingers Crossed.

Aaj neend hi nahin in aankhon mein

आज नींद ही नहीं इन आँखों में 

आज नींद ही नहीं इन आँखों में

एक चाँद की तमन्ना की थी इन आँखों ने

एक बीज बोया था इन आँखों ने

मन की कोमल मिटटी पर एक फूल उगाने का

एक सपना देखा था इन आखों ने 

उस सपने को अक्सर  पूरा होने से पहले

बिखर कर खोते देखा है इन आँखों ने

पर समेट कर बिखरे तुकडे 

फिर से संजोया है वही सपना इन आँखों ने

इक बार हाथ में आई तो थी सफलता 

पर अधूरा सपना कह कर नकार दिया इन आँखों ने

चढ़ा कर नयी आंच पर पुरानी हांडी 

फिर से वही सपना पकाया इन आँखों ने

आज जब पका सपना सामने परोसा है

तो क्यों न जश्न मनाया इन आखों ने?

मूँद कर नरमी से बोझिल हो कर

क्यों न आराम पाया इन आँखों ने?

क्यों नींद ही नहीं इन आँखों में?

My 2nd Civil Services Interview 30th March 2012

I got 225 out of 300 in this interview.

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Academic Qualifications  :               B.Tech (Mech engg), IIT  Kanpur, 2006

              Executive Gen. Mgmt. Prog, IIM Bangalore 2007

Job Experience              :               Areas Sales and Customer Manager, HUL 
                                                      (July 2006 – May 2011)

                                                    Indian Revenue Services (Dec 2011 to Present) 
                                                      [not mentioned in Form]

Optionals                      :                Sociology and Public Administration

Home City/State           :                Bokaro, Jharkhand

Hobbies                        :               1. Member, Shiksha Sopan, NGO in Rural Education

             2. Scouting for local delicacies

             3. Reading Non-fiction books

Date of Interview          :               30-03-2012 Forenoon Session

Interview Board            :               Shri P. K. Mishra

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(After the formalities of the documents, photographs etc, I was escorted to the interview room. I was the first to be interviewed and I asked the official escorting me which board it was. He said “P.K.Mishra”. I had not heard anything strongly positive or negative against him but one of my friends had his board a few days back and his interview went quite smooth. So I tried to tell to myself that it should be okay.

Nevertheless, while waiting on the chair outside the Interview Room, butterflies did flutter in my stomach and weird burps did erupt. There were no watches allowed so I don’t know exactly when the interview began. But my guess is that it must be sometime between 10:00 am and 10:05 am that the bell rang and I was escorted in the room.

To my surprise, there were no lady members. I wished the chairman “good morning, sir” quite loudly and then wished others “good morning Sirs”. Mr. Mishra asked me to take the seat. I sat and said “Thank you Sir.”

There were five members (all male), including the chairman)

PKM (P.K.Mishra): So Chandra Mohan, you have worked with Unilever.

CMT: Yes Sir.

PKM: Hmm… So tell me, why did you leave such a good organization. It is such a nice company!

CMT: Sir, I left the company in May 2011 after qualifying the Civil Services Exam. However, I got a service allocated only in November due to some medical unfitness.

PKM: Oh! So you are already in service?

CMT: Yes Sir. I am in the Revenue Services.

PKM: Nevertheless, why did you leave HUL to come to government? Nothing works in the government and nobody bothers. You had a much better life there. (I had seen this coming !!)

CMT: Sir, it was during my work in HUL that I was sent to work on Corporate Social Responsibility Project in Maharashtra. (PKM starts showing some interest and nodded as if saying,”yeah yeah!! Go ahead”). Sir, it was a Project Bhavishya undertaken by HUL, ICICI bank, Government of Maharashtra and UNICEF. Though, my job was more technical and similar to what I normally did in HUL, that is, work on improving the supply chain efficiencies in ICDS, Public health Centers etc. But the fact that my work impacted the life of a lot of people gave me a unique sense of satisfaction. If two months of that work in social sector was so satisfying, a full time job in that area would be more fulfilling. Also, Sir, I have been associated with an NGO in Kanpur in the field of education and there too, my satisfaction from the work was huge.

So, Sir, I decided to join the government to do full time work in social sector.

PKM: Hmm… but what did you notice in the government setup?

CMT: Sir, I would say that there was not so much a dearth of funds or resources but it was more about the implementation efficiency at the ground level and I thought there is a lot I could contribute to that. Also individuals were more interested in their own careers rather than the larger organizational goal.

PKM: Chandra Mohan, How has your perception about government changed after you have joined the government?

CMT: (I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, nevertheless) Sir, I think my perception has remained the same that individuals in the government get a little too engrossed in their own careers and somehow overlook the broader goals of the organization. This was something I had observed earlier also and I see this even after joining the government.

PKM: (he kept looking at the member to his left while asking every question, as if seeking his view on this) But the perception about government is that it doesn’t deliver. How was your perception? Was it positive and is it still positive? (He said with a “the-country-has-gone-to-dogs” expression on his face)

CMT: Sir, my perception has been positive only. I had seen the government system working in Maharashtra and we were sent to Coimbatore to see how ICDS works better there and I saw how government systems can perform well.

PKM: So, if you reach a high position in the government, what would you change, improve efficiency, leadership, what?

CMT: Sir, I think I would focus on aligning individuals to the organization’s goal and ensuring that the ground officials had measurable deliverables which are linked to the organization’s goal, on which they could measure their performance on a daily or a weekly basis.

PKM: (Not very happy with what he heard) That you said already, what else you would focus on. Say, you are responsible for providing services. What would you change, in terms of deliveries etc?

CMT: Sir, I would focus on transparency and…

PKM: hmm… Transparency, ok good. What else?

CMT: Also sir, I would ensure that something like a Citizen’s Charter is there, where we are forthcoming in outlining what services we shall offer to our customers or clients or citizens and mentioning timelines against them. Also sir, there should be a redressal mechanism, in case, someone is not satisfied with the services rendered.

PKM: But Chandra Mohan, this Citizen Charter, Redressal Mechanism etc are already there. Right?

(I give him the “what-else-should-I-say” look with my typical vulnerability on face)

PKM: No no. You are right. All this should be there. You are quite right. (Vulnerable looks work!) But what would you do in particular?

CMT: Sir, as a leader, I would focus on bringing about a motivation in the field officials about how their job is not a mere job but is related to a larger goal. That would ensure that they do their work more efficiently. Sir, during my job in HUL as a sales manager, I used to emphasize to my salesmen and the sales officers how their job was not mundane and contributed to the organization as a whole.

Also sir, if I may narrate an incident (PKM gives the “go-ahead” look). During my work in Nasik in ICDS, I asked the Child Development Project Officer, Mr. Gaekwad what was his motivation to take so much pain in his job. He asked me what motivated me in my job. I told him that it gives me immense pleasure to see that people are using our brands, the brands that I work for. (PKM nodded affirmatively.) He said that he also finds the pleasure when he moves around in his district and sees healthier kids around.

Sir, by connecting his normal job with this larger goal, his motivation levels were  very high and I think that the senior leadership should focus on emphasizing that field officials see the larger picture and feel similar motivation.

PKM: Hmm… tell me what is the concept of Disaster? (at this point he peeked into a piece of paper and  I guess it was a list of general questions that he had written down to be asked to candidates)

CMT: (I had read about Disaster Management during mains and didn’t remember exact details. In fact, in the mains too, I had chosen not to attempt the Disaster Management question in Public administration. But here I had to attempt) Sir, umm… disasters could be of two types, natural and man-made, natural disasters being earthquake, fire etc…

PKM: (cutting me in between and looking at his fellow members) oh ho!! You started giving examples bhai! I am asking what is disaster.

(Oh god!! He wants me to say the definition! But I don’t remember any. Why not take a pause and construct some definition. I paused a little too long and probably appeared clueless, so PKM said again)

PKM: Arre. I am not asking you to define it. The examples you cited can only be used to explain what disaster is.

CMT: Yes sir. I would say disaster is an unprecedented event that occurs suddenly and causes unforeseen damages..umm

PKM: Damage to life and property?

CMT: Yes sir, damage to life and property.

PKM: (looking back into his sheet on the side and virtually reading from it) In disaster management the emphasis has shifted from a relief-centered approach to proactive approach. Your comments on this?

CMT: (this was more like a GS mains question) Sir, earlier the focus of disaster management used to be on providing relief to the ones affected, but now having witnessed many disasters, we can learn from our experiences (suddenly loud coughing began by the member to the right of PKM i.e, M1, however I still continued) and can devise systems…

(the coughing became too loud and PKM couldn’t hear what I said. He made the face of “Pardon-can-you-come-again”. I tried speaking but then he showed me the hand gesture of “wait-till-he-is-done-coughing”. The member coughed at ease, and then apologized. I don’t know why I also said “Sorry Sir” to the coughing member as if my answers made him feel so bad )

Sir I was saying that we have learnt from our experiences and can now devise ways in which we can proactively prepare for various disasters.

For example, sir, in an earthquake, we now know which are the earthquake prone regions and accordingly we could prepare. We can have buildings which are earthquake sensitive (oops!! I should have said ‘resistant’) and do less damage. Also we can involve the local authorities to coordinate evacuations. We can also have a Warning system where we could inform people about a disaster beforehand so that people could be moved out in time and damages could be minimized.

Sir, such measures would not only reduce the damage but also save the costs that we today incur on the relief measures.

PKM: Hmm… Is there a law or act also for this purpose?

CMT: (This is not good. I don’t remember NDMA details, how would I sail through it?) Yes sir. I think there is a National Disaster Management Act (PKM nodding his head affirmatively) and an authority too.

PKM: Yes. Yes. So tell me about the National Disaster Management Authority.

CMT: (GOD!! I should have ducked earlier. Now What?) Sir, I don’t remember the exact details of the act.

PKM: It’s ok. You just tell me what it does. Who is the Chairman of this authority?

CMT: Sorry Sir, I don’t remember that exactly.

PKM: Doesn’t matter. You know something about how it works?

CMT: Sir, the National Disaster Management Authority works in coordination with the local authorities and at a district level, I think, it is headed by the District Collector.

PKM: National se seedhe District par aa gaye? There is a State level also?

CMT: Yes Sir. There is a Regional Disaster Management Authority at the state level. And at the local level the authority works in coordination with local authorities. Also, I think, there are designated forces for relief work, including members from different security forces. I don’t remember much details of it sir.

PKM: What is Vulnerability at Last/Loss (I am not sure whether he said last or loss)

CMT: Pardon Sir. Is it a term that you asked?

PKM: Have you not heard of the concept of Vulnerability at Last/Loss (couldn’t make out this time too). It is such an important document.

CMT: Sorry Sir. I haven’t heard about it.

PKM: Ok.

(Passes on the first member to his right, the “coughing” guy)

(M1 starts flipping pages of my summary sheet and appeared that he had not yet thought a question. There was an awkward silence for about 5-6 seconds. I noticed that PKM was staring me. I looked at him, smiled and started looking at M1 again.)

M1: Chandra Mohan, You come from Bokaro. The steel city. So what do you know about steel and various types of steel?

CMT: (I remembered only as much as my dad had narrated to me last night and I wanted to vomit it totally before I forgot any details) Sir, I haven’t worked in the steel sector myself but I am aware of the basics of steel making. (He gave me the “go-ahead” look). Sir, steel is made from iron, after mixing it with carbon, nickel, chromium etc. Depending on the quantity of carbon used, we get different types of steel. Steel is more strong and durable than iron, especially stainless steel. 

(And then as if my dad’s entire conversation came in a flash) Sir, first the iron-ore is mixed with limestone etc and melted in a blast furnace. From there we get Pig Iron which is then mixed with carbon, nickel etc. and it is called Ingot. Then it is moved to the Slabbing Mill whereafter the steel moves through the Hot Rolling Mill and the Cold Rolling Mill at the end of which steel sheets are made which are then sent to market (SIGH!!! Finally, I had made my dad proud !!!)

PKM: He is asking about other steel plants. Tell him about them.

CMT: Sir, within the SAIL itself, there are other plants. Like there is one in Bhilai, and in Rourkela and in Burnpur.

M1: And?

CMT: And sir, there’s also one in Salem which makes the finished products like utensils etc. Outside SAIL, there’s Tata Steel in Jamshedpur. Also sir, there’s a SAIL Plant in Durgapur. (Now I gave a blank look, the “what-exactly-do-you-want-to-hear” blank look.)

M1: What about other Private Steel Plants?

CMT: (I just couldn’t think of any) Sorry Sir, can’t remember.

M1: JSW? (I heard it GSW)

CMT: Sorry sir. Haven’t heard about it.

M1: Jindal Steel!! You haven’t heard about it?

CMT: Oh Yes Sir. I know about Jindal Steel but I am not sure if it has a plant in Jharkhand, so didn’t recall its name.

PKM: Yeah yeah, it doesn’t have a plant in Jharkhand may be.

CMT: Yes Sir. But I know that Jindal Steel exists.

M1: Ok. (Starts flipping my summary sheet again) So you have Public Administration as one of your subjects. So tell me about District Administration.

CMT: Sir, the District Administration is one of the most important components of the entire governmental setup (Yeah. Is that new?) and Sir it encompasses various areas like revenue administration, law and order and implementation of social sector development projects. The lynchpin of the District Administration is the District Collector who is also know by different names in different parts of the country. With Panchayati Raj coming in, he is also the key coordinator between the Zila Parishad and the district administrative officials.

M1: What is another name that the Collector is called by?

CMT: Sir, he is also called as Deputy Commissioner.

M1: (He didn’t hear what he wanted to hear) The name that shows his job about law and order?

CMT: Sir, District Magistrate?

M1: (BINGO!!!) So tell me about the magisterial powers of the DM. (PKM also starts showing interest. Before this he was scribbling something)

CMT: Sir, earlier the DM had judicial magisterial powers as well and could hear cases, but now it is only restricted to executive magisterial powers. He can invoke the provisions of IPC in situations of law and order problem like Section 144.

PKM: CrPC!!

CMT: (What? Who said that? I turned to PKM) Yes sir, also CrPC

PKM: Not ALSO, only CrPC!!

CMT: Oh Yes Sir. The DM can invoke provisions of CrPC and not IPC. Sorry Sir.

M1: So tell me, which are the provisions of CrPC that he can invoke (He had this smug look in his face, the “ab-batao-bachhu” look)

CMT: Sorry Sir, I wouldn’t know the exact provisions.

PKM: Yes. It’s ok. You are not supposed to remember. It’s fine.

M1: (flipping through my form again) Oh!!! So you have the hobby of Scouting…for local delicacies. (Everyone smiles as if they just heard a joke). So what do you do?

CMT: (I smiled too. This was my moment to show my lighter side..or maybe the ‘heavier’ side J) Sir, my job involved a lot of travel and wherever I went I asked the local retailers about the famous street food in that city and then went on to have it myself. Sir, today I can say I am a proud owner of a list of about 70-80 food items of the country.

Sir, during my stay in Nagpur in the last few months, I found out about a special style of cooking in Nagpur called ‘Saoji’. It uses a lot of red spices and lots of oil and makes very delicious non-vegetarian dishes. (Me eyes had started lightening up with this conversation and I didn’t want to stop. The board was smiling,g looking at each other and giving me the “Aww-sho-cute-sho-shweet” look).

I also write about these dishes, at times, on my blogs and people also seek my opinion when they visit these cities.

M1: So you blog also?

CMT: Yes Sir. Once in a while.

M1: And people ask for your suggestions?

CMT: Sir, at least my close circle of friends seek my suggestion. For example, one of my friends was travelling from Amritsar to Jallandhar and called me to ask where he could get good food. I told him that right off the highway near Jallandhar, there is Haveli where he could get Poori Sabji which has authentic Punjabi Taste. (I could have gone on and on but then everybody was already feeling heavy of such ‘greasy’ talks)

(M1 passed the baton to M2. He was a dude. In a French grey beard, heavy and chubby like me. Also with a cute intellectual look.)

M2: So Chandra Mohan. (without looking into my forms) Have you heard about NAM?

CMT: Yes Sir. The Non-Alignment Movement

M2: Don’t you think that it has lost its relevance today. Also there are many regional groups coming up now. There is this BRICS becoming active. Do you know what BRICS is?

CMT: Yes Sir. It is a consortium of five nations. Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa.

M2: Hmm… so don’t you think that the NAM has lost its significance and regional groupings have gained prominence?

CMT: (I again see PKM looking at me, so I try to look at everybody while answering) Sir, I don’t think NAM has lost its significance. It is true that the basis of its foundation no longer exists as the Cold War is over and there are no longer two rival blocs. Yet, Sir, I would say that NAM is an important forum where developing nations can come together and voice their concerns on various global issues. For example, NAM could be used to air the concerns of developing nations with relations to WTO etc.

About the regional groupings Sir, I think we have learned from the ASEAN experience that when countries sideline their political differences and come together to cooperate for an economic goal, all countries benefit. On this ground only, various regions are forming their groups for economic advantage.

BRICS, in that sense, Sir, is a group consisting of nations of different continents, each of them being an emerging economy. It is a relatively new idea where all the emerging nations can get together to present a unified face in front of the global polity on various issues.

M2: Hmm… But don’t you think that earlier India had a leadership role in institutions like NAM etc but it is no longer the leader of the small nations. It appears that India is more focused on its relationship with the USA.

CMT: (looking at PKM for an approval) No Sir. I don’t agree (PKM giving me “jiyo-mere-laal” look) I think India is well aware of its responsibility as a leader of the smaller nations and it has ensured that no nation is ignored in its foreign policy. It has continued to interact with the smaller nations both on a bilateral as well as a multilateral manner.

Also, Sir, our friendly relations with the US are more driven by our own self interest needs (M2 nods affirmatively) for example the economic and the defense needs. Moreover, India still professes an independent foreign policy and makes sure that its warm bilateral relations with one nation doesn’t affect its relations with other nations. (Somewhere during this, mobile phone of M3 or M4 rang. But I didn’t bother. The mobile was quickly switched off and the member apologized to PKM)

(M2 passes then to M3, who is sitting to my immediate right, that is, second to the left of PKM)

M3: (looking into my forms) Chandra Mohan, you have taken Sociology as one of your optionals. So tell me, how has reading sociology helped you?

CMT: Sir, I had read some sociology in college as part of our B.Tech Programme. Sir, reading a subject like Sociology helped me understand the society around me. I understood that all societies have their norms and values and that no values are right or wrong, it is just different for different societies, depending on the evolution of that particular society.

(M3 wanted me to go on) Also sir, I understood how various institutions of the society perform different functions for society and how each institution has both functions as well as dysfucntions for society. (PKM gave me the “Get-to-specifics” look) Sir, like the institutions of Family (“OK” nod by M3), Marriage, Poverty, Crime, Economy, Politics and various such institutions have different functions for society.

(M3 still wanted more, so I went on) Sociology also exposed me to various ideologies. For example the Marxist philosophy, the Functionalist way of looking at institutions. Also some new ideologies like post-modernism etc helped me realize how same situation can be seen and interpretated in various ways.

Sir, I would say, that sociology widened my perspective and helped me appreciate that various views on a single thing are possible. While my education in science made me aware of the technical aspects, the reading of sociology helped me understand the broader aspects of society.

M4: You talked about dysfunctions. What institutions do you think are dysfunctional to society?

CMT: Sir, I don’t think we can categorize any institution as completely dysfunctional to society. When Robert K. Merton also talks about functions, non-functions and dysfunctions, he mentions that an institution can have all of them.

Sir, I would say that it is a matter of degree and some institutions could be more dysfunctional than the other. For example, if I may call Crime as an institution, while it is functional to the few who benefit from it, it is largely dysfunctional to the society at large.

Similarly, Sir, the Caste system is dysfunctional to the people placed at the lowest strata while it may be functional to the ones placed at the top strata. So sir, I think each institution is dysfunctional or functional to the society, up to different extents.

M4: Ok. You were talking about perception about Coimbatore and how it was different from perception about Jharkhand. Why such difference in perception?

CMT: Sir, the times in which I grew up, when Jharkhand was still part of Bihar, we grew up with the perception that nothing works in the government. We would hear jokes about how nothing moves in Bihar Sarkaar while things would work under the Bokaro Steel Limited. So I never questioned this perception that governments don’t deliver.

But, Sir, when I was sent to Coimbatore to see how ICDS and Aanganwadi system works there quite well, I saw that even in a tribal village, there were tap water connections in each house and also electricity. My first reaction was that it’s a bluff and it is actually not a tribal village. May be we are visitors, so the officials are showing us a developed village. I asked the residents what did they do for livelihood. Most of them were labourers in nearby tea fields and earned hardly 1500 to 2000 rupees every month.

I asked them how they could have tap water and electricity in their home. They told me that government ensured all that. There was no malnourished child in the village and every child got a healthy nutrition at the Aanganwadi.

This made my perception that governments can deliver if projects are implemented well.

(M3 then passed to M4 who seemed not too ready with questions)

M4: Hmm… Chandra Mohan, continuing from the discussion, you would agree that corruption is at both places, in Tamil Nadu as well as in Jharkhand. Then why do you think things work in Tamil Nadu while they don’t work in Jharkhand?

CMT: Sir, I think, that in places like Bihar and Jharkhand, people see the government as something very big and they see themselves as mere beneficiaries. While in Tamil Nadu I saw people being more assertive about their rights and demanding a lot from the government. Also I found that the local bodies like the Panchayats were much more proactive.

M4: But why do you think that is so?

CMT: Sir, It could be because Tamil Nadu has more literacy and better education which makes the people there more aware about their rights. Also it makes the Panchayati Raj institutions more powerful. I saw how there were Mother’s Committees in villages which made surprise checks on schools to see if the kids got good education and also on aanganwadis to see if the kids got good food. (M4 nods affirmatively)

M4: So you were working at Hindustan Unilever. Is it there that you did the EGMP? (He was talking about the Executive General Management Programme at IIM Bangalore in my form) Was it sponsored  by HUL?

CMT: Yes sir, it was a part of the Business Leadership Training Programme.

M4: Was it a full one year course? (I just realized that he was fully aware of the EGMP thing)

CMT: No sir. It was a condensed course of about 6 weeks where classes were held daily and stuff more related to our job were taught.

M4: So don’t you think that you made a loss to HUL when they invested so much in you and you left. I can see that after the training they even nearly doubled your package from 8 lakh to 15 lakh.

CMT: (I smiled) Sir, in fact when I was resigning the package had become 22 lakh. (On hearing this PKM made a weird face. Either he was stunned or he found me boasting and rude.) But sir, I worked in Hindustan Unilever for four and a half years and I did quite well there. In fact, in the two years that I was appraised, I was rated the best Area Sales Manager and was also awarded in one of the years. (It was really difficult to sound modest at this moment, though I tried my best). However, my work there only made the shareholders happy, while my work in government would make the common people happy. That was the motivation in working with the government.

M4: Hmm… So what non-fiction do you read? (Referring to my hobby)

CMT: Sir, I generally read books on Indian History from independence onwards. But I also read biographies and recently I have read the Biography of Gandhiji by Jad Adams

M4: So what’s there in the book?

CMT: Sir, the book “Gandhi: Naked Ambition” by Jad Adams talks about various contradictions in Gandhiji’s life. For example, how he was very upright in his public life but as a father he was very strict to his children. I found this interesting and hence picked up the book to read, though I have read other biographies of Gandhi as well.

M4: (smilingly, as if finding me trapped) So how has the book changed your perception about him?

CMT: Sir, first of all, I would like to mention that the book has been a little biased. While it has praised the European, British and Christian values of Gandhiji, it has criticized the values which were a little earthy and Indian.

M4: But has it changed your perception about Gandhiji?

CMT: Sir, whatever contradictions the book talks about were things that Gandhiji was himself aware of and also has written about them. If Gandhiji was alive today he would have taken these criticisms very happily and that is what inspires me in him, that he was always ready to accept his shortcomings. I think he was his best critic and that humility in Gandhiji has kept inspiring me. After reading this book too, my praise for Gandhiji has only grown.

(M4 passes back the baton the PKM. He pauses for a second and then says, “OK. Chandra Mohan, your interview is over. You can go now.” I was a little perplexed at the sudden end. I was expecting some final questions from the Chairman. Nevertheless, I walked out thanking the board. I had thought that I will look back at the board before exiting the door, but just didn’t. I just walked out. I asked an official sitting outside what time it was. He said 10:35 am.)