Friday, April 19, 2013

love thy lady


In a society like ours, being a man is more difficult than just having a male body. If you cannot taunt on a woman's body, you aren't man enough. If you can't embarass a woman for her sexuality then your own sexuality shall be questioned. If you can't make fun of a gay friend, then you must be a gay yourself and hence you should be made fun of. If you are managing your career in order to accomodate your wife's career, you are weak and if you get your wife to quit her career so that she can cook for you and rear kids for you, you are a man. if you do well in life and are 'eligible' for a heavy dowry but decide to marry to a woman you love, outside your caste and without any dowry, you are a fool who has been trapped by a girl. 

Every one will teach you in school that you should treat women with respect and that woman is a 'devi' and we worship her. They'll teach you that she is a mother, a sister, a wife and a daughter and hence love her. But just no one bothers to say that love her just because she is just another person. If you are to be referred to as just you, why should she be referred as someone's mom, or sister or wife. She is what she is. Why is it so difficult for you to accept that.

You must have been a great success in life, but so can she be. Intellect is not a function of sex and neither is stupidity or morality. Just because you have a very good career, you will tell your wife to stay at home as she doesn't need to work anymore. Why the hell do you need to work then, if she has a good job? If you are in a job that means a lot of transfers, why should she quit working and move with you? Why can't she continue her career and you manage accordingly? Oh sure, because you are a man, and she is not. You are the breadwinner, despite the fact that she can not only earn the bread better than you can but also can make that bread and feed it to your kids. At all of these you are worse off than her. But never mind, you are a man. You are supposed to feel superior though you know that you are far weaker than her.

If you get drunk, it is okay as you are a guy, but if she drinks, it is not good, bcause our 'national tradition' does not prefer women drinking. If you eye other women, just because you can never get over a woman's body, it is normal, but if she dresses up in manner to catch a man's attention, she should be corrected. You can fanatsize about a woman whether she is a teacher dressed well or a housemaid dressed poorly, but if your girlfriend dresses in a manner that appears revealing to you, you surely will feel humiliated and insecure. Because no one knows the other men better than you. You just can't accept the fact that all other men will look at your girl in the manner you look at other girls. And since you are feeble and weak to stop other males, you would try all tricks to control your lady.

Why does it take you so much effort to see that she is just a person, very much like you. She can have a different body, a different physiology and a different psychology, but why don't you just let it be. She also has the freedom to get drunk and make her career the way she wants it to be. She has the right to dress in the manner she wishes because she is doing it for herself and for you. And if she does want to attract other men fight the other men, if you will, let her be what she is. Love your lady for what she is and stop giving a damn to what the world tells you. 

3 comments:

Raveesh Gupta said...

The 'baggage of any identity' is too heavy for any person to bear, especially the ones created right from childhood - like the gender identity. Any collective identity suffocates the individual.

Amulya Mahendra said...

Such a grave issue expressed with such simplicity! If only more people could think like that! Really well written.

GM.Hadiuzzaman said...

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Hadiuzzaman Gazee